Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Cherish today...tomorrow could be totally different

Well I am totally loving life right now. I was telling my mom tonight that life is just so great. I have such a feeling of excitement about the future and what's going to happen (I have no idea what I am so excited about, but my heart is full), thankfulness for God's provision of my needs, friends and guidence, and awe of watching God work in people's lives. Light is shining through the dark cracks of peoples lives and some tough conversations have been had. Satan is doing his best to thwart any sort of gain, but I do not serve him. I serve a God who knows all, is in control of all, and has His own perfect timetable. I will cherish today, because tomorrow could be totally different. But even if I wake up and all the excitement and awe is gone...I will cherish that God is still at work doing all those things. How grateful that my hope is not placed in my feelings. He's constant, my catalyst.

A few random notes...I went to the Bodies Exhibition and Dialog In The Dark down at Atlantic Station tonight. I had mentioned I wanted to go at work and then all of the sudden four other ladies were wanting to go with me. We had a great time. Bodies was just cool and being nurses we were all fascinated. Dialog was amazing. It's an hour long tour in complete darkness where you are lead by a visually impaired individual. Ours was Dexter, he has been blind since he was four. He was incredible, always knew exactly where we were at. We asked him how he knew and he said he's just used to it, plus we all were wearing perfume which helped him distinguish us from each other. Thank you Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue...I've never been so happy to smell! After we all has a mild anxiety attack in the first room, we learned to use all of our senses and what we each depend on. Some felt like they were squinting the whole time, trying to see something and that the world was closing in. I, on the other hand felt like the room was huge, my eyes were opened wide and hated being in the middle of a room. I had to be touching something...like a wall. I needed a reference point. Even though it was so dark and you couldn't see ANYTHING it never ceased to amaze me how it could always get darker. But how? Isn't that so much like life? We walk around aimlessly, feel alone, desperately grasping whatever we can to gain some reference and trying not to get hurt. And it can always get darker. I tell myself and others all the time, "it can always get worse" You learn to get through life. By the end of the tour you are functioning pretty well. You've learned to trust your guide, you're pretty good with the stick, and your stress level has finally decreased...but nothing compares to seeing that glimmer of light peek through the curtain. I quickly picked up my pace and couldn't wait to see again. I wouldn't choose to go back in. Life with light is much better than just trying to get through without getting hurt.
Didn't mean to make that into a weird deep thought, but as I sit and think about it, it just kinda popped out. In any case, if a Dialog In The Dark comes near you. GO! It's so interesting! Here are all of us on our way to dinner...

My Tara came in for the weekend and we had an absolutely wonderful time! She's one of those people that you can just be yourself and laugh around. And we did a lot of laughing. We hit up Cirque Du Soleil: Kooza and I left once again feeling like a big lazy person. Glad I saw it though. It never failed, no matter where we went, there was someone with a super annoying laugh. Now, I like laughs, they usually make me laugh, but these laughs were not those laughs. They were obnoxious, high pitched, loud and always happening at the wrong time. Oh well, it's now a memory of ours! =)

This is one of my new favorite things to do. I cook. I cook a lot. It's cheaper and better for me than eating out all the time. And since I am single and have plenty of food for my meal, a meal for work and still have left overs...people at work and in my apartment complex get fed as well.

Also, Michael Jackson's "Don't stop till you get enough" has been in my head for literally 5 days. I'm ready for it to be gone.

I'm watching a rerun of the Office, laughing to myself and yes, I still love Jim.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

2009...what do you have in store for me?

New Years is always such a bittersweet thing for me. I remember distinctly as a child when 1990 was waving goodbye and 1991 was waving hello thinking "I never get to go back! I never get to be in kindergarten again! That year is over!" Every year I think the same thing. Of course the grades changed, but the sentiment was the same. I think I get so sad because I truly do enjoy the year! I look back and am so thankful for what I've had the opportunity to do and am sad that I may never get to experience those moments again. On the other hand, sometimes I love not knowing the future and get so excited about what's to come. Some of it I think I know, but then, I really don't. It's amazing to watch dreams come true. This time last year I thought travel nursing would be fun to do, now I can't believe that I am doing it. God is so much bigger than I realize and watching Him work and orchestrate my life leaves me in awe.

I think this puts me in a good state of mind in my relationship with my loving Savior. I try to keep an eternal perspective even though it's so easy to get caught up in the here and now. I constantly have a sense of urgency that I can't shake. I feel like it's my responsibility to be Christ to everyone I come in contact with. Don't get me wrong, I know it's not me that saves them and I fail a lot. It's the Holy Spirit that convicts and draws those to God and I can always do a better job of taking the opportunities laid out before me. The future makes my heart beat fast! I don't know what's coming, all I know is that I am God's child and that he is returning! I cannot wait to see what will come about this year. Will I get to return to the DR? Where will my job take me? Who will I meet and befriend? What will my new nephew be like? This year is going to be good...

The last few weeks feel a bit like a blur. I saw the Otto's, went home for Christmas to be with the entire family, worked for three days, my parents came down for a long weekend and now I will work three more, celebrate my birthday with a friend from church and then Tara comes for a long weekend! I'm excited about going to the movies...haven't been since seeing Mamma Mia in July. P.S. While my parents were here we took in the aquarium, world of coke and Cirque Dreams Jungle Fantasy...which was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. It was a hour and forty five minutes of brute human strength, sickening flexibity and sheer beauty. Basically, I left feeling like a lazy and out of shape person.

Here's some pictures from Christmas and visits...
Dad and I trying 64 different coke products...I felt queezy by the time we were done

Mom and I on the Coke American Idol couch

The Ohio Family

Zach (Brother), Me and Eric (Cousin)

Emma Michelle and Laura Michelle