Year in review...13 days late

I love Passion. It is like bookends to my year, both starting and ending it in a mindframe that I strive to hold throughout the year. A life that is here only to serve others, sometimes seen, but most of the time not. Last year was my first year volunteering and it blew me away. I was prepared for what I was going to see, but this year seemed so different. We were of one mind and body. Motives were plainly visable, whether good or bad. It's always powerful, but this year was somehow MORE powerful. It's always completely focused on God and changing the injustices of the world, but this year even more. Not just b/c of the amount of dollars given, but Christ's love for the poor pierced our hearts and we could not help but respond. A LOT of the church volunteered and I honestly think it made a huge difference. It was worship for us!

It's been a year, that's for sure. This time last year I was on my face in prayer wanting so badly to go and help my friends in Haiti. I didn't know that only a week later I would be there with people from all over the world doing what we could to help those hurt get better, but knowing that only God can heal. I reread those blogs and look at the pictures with wonder...did I really live that!?!

Africa entered my world and changed my heart forever. I really wish I could find the shirt that people wear saying "I need Africa more than Africa needs me." I still look back on those days and marvel at how much I learned and how it so quickly changed my perspective of God and what he desires for his people...and that he uses US to do it. What an honor! Not a day goes by that I don't think about those I have come across.

In all honesty, work has been rough. Not patients or traumas, but the typical growing pains every department has to go through. Many times I have thought, "God, this is NOT what I signed on to stay for!" I've comforted many friends having a hard time at work and dreading the moment of going in, but it's different when it's you. You let your entire day be stolen because you are walking on eggshells, constantly worried about what will be said to you and how you will react. It's miserable. I've had to learn a lot this year (mostly in a span of the last 3 months)...and not all easy things. But now that I am aware, I know how to apply it and learn and grow. There is always something to perfect and work on in yourself, if not, than you need to be humbled. I just pray that I am a good representative of Christ through it all. It would be my devastation to ever find out that someone looked at me and thought...if that's Christ, I want nothing to do with it. He's been so good to me, I want His goodness to pour out of me.

Community is finally here! There have been tough months of wondering if some of the most treasured friendships I have are even real, or if they are only real to me. That I think more of it than the other person. In some cases...yes...that was exactly the case and the season ended. In most cases, I found that a lot of us felt that way. We all felt out of the loop, last to know, left out, not invited...and yet it was never intentional. However, I think that once we all realized we all feel that, we were well on the road to creating a community that's inviting, not exclusive. I praise God for the precious friendships that have been born out of volunteering at church, going to Africa, genuinely living my life out at work, and keeping some close ties to home.

New years is always a bittersweet time for me. I get sad about things coming to a close, especially when so much happened and now it will be referred to as last year, then a few years ago, then back in 2010. But the other half gets excited about the unknown. Things happen every year that are unscripted...and those are usually the most impactful. I have high hopes for 2011. I may not get to leave the country, I'll still try and be the best nurse I can be, I may still be in the same little one bedroom apartment this time next year, but I'll be a better me. A me that, I pray, looks more like my Father.

Consecrate yourselves TODAY, for TOMORROW He will do amazing things among you.

I Heart Uganda!

WARNING: This has the potential to be a really long post. Sorry if I lose you! I have a lot to tell, but and working the next 4 nights =)

The above picture is what we saw as we were flying to Amsterdam. Of course, the picture doesn't do the moment justice as the beauty was breathtaking. We knew we were going to spend the next 10 days with 12 other women, loving on babies and taking in a nation recovering from war, tragedy and Aids. That sight was how I felt inside. A new start, a fresh day with the potential to change anything. A little side note...You know God is in it and gathered each of us by name to be on this trip when 13 women are together 24/7 and there was not even a hint of pettiness or catty attitudes once on the trip. In fact, we all couldn't wait to see each other again the next day at church. I felt sad when I woke up alone and not in my bed inbetween Janet and Whitney...when Janet is threatening to cook the rooster who has no idea what time it is and Whitney and I are cracking up.

So we arrive and our fantastic guide Phillip and the driver stuff all of our 27 bags and 13+ carry on's into 24 seat bus. From there we were off! We got a night of rest and went to church the next day where we had a little orientation and had the honor of watching one of the children's choirs practice for a tour in a few months. We sat in the front row, smiles glued to our faces and choking back tears. When you hear an orphan sing "I am not forgotten, God knows my name"and "praise him, o my soul praise him" in a sweet child voice while busting out beautiful African moves all at the same time...your heart does more than melt. Finally we got to the place our heart had been desiring for the past 8 months.


THE BULRUSHES: a babies home right in the middle of the city full of 50 babies. The environment here was a controlled chaos, as they have a schedule and stick to it, everyone is always busy doing something. Since I work in an ER...this was my favorite place...I love the busy surroundings! Once nap time was over, it was game on. We got to feed them, change them, and did our best to hug and kiss as many as we could. We played for a few hours on blankets on the floor where we quickly became the toys. I remember looking up at one point and all of us had 3+ babies in our laps, on our backs or using our bodies to stand up and get our attention. One day we took "the toddlers" out for a walk and to the mall to play at a playground. This required us carrying them through Kampala traffic...which is basically playing frogger everytime you need to cross a street. They LOVED it! The next day we took the itty-bitties out for a walk at Serena Gardens. I had little Emmanuel, who was asleep before, during and after. But being 3 weeks old, there was no need for him to care and I could not have been more content to have a baby resting against my chest in a Baby Bjorn. My hardest moment came when we had to leave. As we put our babies down, they started WAILING! How do you walk away from that? So I picked them up again, hugged them tight and kissed their little heads and put them back down. I had to walk away before I started crying as hard as they did.



Sunday we went to WATOTO CHURCH: which the Holy Spirit was all over and I decided in that moment, it would be great to be African. Our group experienced a little piece of what heaven will be like. We worshiped, in awe of God (a huge theme of our trip that He made known from the beginning). It wasn't our typical American style service...although similar in ways...it cemented that God is the same in every part of His creation.

After church we went to BBIRA: a Watoto Village containing over 900 children. Our team broke up into small groups and ate lunch with a family who had made us traditional African food. Which I thought was quite tasty, but outside of seafood, there's very little I don't like. Each home is made up of a house mother and her 8 children, there are 8-9 homes in a circle with one being set above to look over the circle. I think there were 15 circles there. All the children refer to other kids as their brother or sister. Biology means very little in the villages as they truly take to heart that "It takes a village to raise a child" It's responsibilty of everyone. I fell in love with our family and they gave us a tour of the entire village, which includes schools, a store and church that is open to people outside the village as well. I know the kids were probably on their best behavior, but NOT ONCE did I see children fighting. I saw more older children picking up and taking care of their younger siblings, walking with arms around each others shoulders and hand in hand. Watoto children are some of the most polite children I've ever come across...and I come across different children everyday.



Next up SUUBI: a breathtaking community in the mountains. Watoto has a production line here that makes everything that goes into the babies homes and villages. They offer older children and men of the community outside of Watoto the opportunity to learn a job skill and employ them. We visited the school, many beautiful young women in their sewing class, and tons of other kids learning different subjects. I forget how many circles are here and the amount of children...but it was A LOT as well. The babies home at Suubi is beautiful. The complete opposite of the bulrushes. It's removed from the city, crisp air, incomparable views. There are about 30 babies here, 11 with special needs. Moses 5 yrs old, who has hydrocephalus, is the funniest kid there, bossing everyone around, answering for everyone and if I had a question about what to do, he would tell me. As of a year ago he wasn't even walking or talking. God does miracles.

Then we went 5 hrs north to GULU: an area that up until the past couple of years was considered to be very dangerous. Ripped apart by war, children hiding in the bush. We visited Living Hope, a place where vulnerable women have been restored their dignity and hope. Their stories are to tragic to share, but they would rather you know about how Jesus changed their life anyway. They have been through some of the worst atrocities women can face and yet, they have smiles a mile wide. They have gone through rehabilitation counseling and 4,000 women have come to know Christ! They are given jobs to make scarves, purses, dolls and jewelry. They make peanut butter and have discovered ways to make sanitary pads out of papyrus. Most girls drop out of school when they start menstruating. Now they can complete school and become well educated citizens ready to change the face of a nation. Where Living Hope is housed used to be an Internally Displaced Peoples camp where children would run to at night for protection and the fear of being abducted and forced into being a child soldier. Baby Gulu had about 20 babies. All just as precious as the first 80 we'd met. This is the newest home. You could tell the difference of the nannies here and in the bulrushes. The babies know who is responsible for them and are more attached. There are just so many in the city that it's all hands on deck. One of my favorite moments of the trip came when we walked the streets back to the guest house. We were walking where so much pain had taken place. War was here, but now freedom is here! Within minutes we had a pack of kids following us, walking with us and running out to greet us. It was a special trip and we all felt so blessed to have been able to see it and experience it. We also got to cross the Nile (AMAZING!) and it was the roughest water! Philip told me it would be considered a Level 6 rapid. We fed monkeys and laughed as a few of the girls had to go to the bathroom in the bush and Philip kept watch of the baboons that were only a football field away.

I left with mixed emotions. I thought I would leave wanting to move back for 6mos, but now I think I'll just do a month or two when God tells me the time is right. Uganda takes care of Uganda. Even Watoto takes the extra clothes for babies and give it to other local orphanages who don't get as many donations. 50% of the population is under age 15 and 70% is under age 30. There is huge potential for this country! The church in one weekend had 1500 families step up to sponser children in need in the villages. The men go to villages every week to be fathers to the fatherless. The women give up their lives to raise a responsible generation. Watoto is a well thought out organization. I did not see one aspect of life that was not effected by the Church. They know the ecomony will cause support to drop...enter production line, a self sustaning business. They know the value of education, so they find a way to change life for teenage girls. I did not walk away feeling sorry for the people of Uganda. I walked away praising God that He is SO ACTIVE and ALIVE in that nation! Thanking Him for the vision he has given Watoto and the faith of the church to believe that He is able to do it! We came back to Atlanta knowing, because we have seen it is possible, that we need to dream big. That God is able and wanting to do major things in our city. We want to be his hands and feet here. Burden and hurting for our own city that has it's own fair share of needs and hurts and least of these. We don't know what the future looks like for us, and it could still be years off, but God's Hope is coming to Atlanta. His name will be glorified.

This was our last view as we walked to our terminal to come back to ATL. God's promise. A fitting way to end a trip but start a lifetime.

Send us out!

Wow...what a journey this has been so far and the best is yet to come! Almost everything is packed and in its place. My eyes are so tired, but my brain just won't stop. So many hopes and dreams for these little lives we are going to be entrusted with for a few days are constantly on my mind.

Every now and then there are days that you are pretty sure will stick out in your mind for forever. Sunday, September 12, 2009 was one of those days. So many precious moments of family. While I will cherish them in my heart always, it made me ever more excited to get over to Kampala! Our church prayed over us in such a mighty way. I shed more tears this past week just out of excitement and gratitude than I've shed in a long time. I think that being sent out with blessing has to be one of the best feelings in the world. There are 13 of us going out with about 3,000+ people going behind us. We will represent you well, but our goal is to BE Christ well! We take you with us, and are greatly depending on your prayers. Names you can be praying for...Janet, Rachel G, Deeann, Aynsley, Whitney, Natalie, Kerri, Morgan, Rachel J, Tindell, Joy, and Brandy.

I'm so glad that God has chosen me to be a part of this church filled with people that are passionate about knowing God and living it out. Tonight we found out a little more of where God is taking us to...it's going to be good! We are going to be moving into a neighborhood. We will have a building, but that's not what it's about and I hope we keep that at the forefront of our minds.

This past week at work I had a friend ask me, "so why do you do it? what to get out of it? I know you go to help people, but what else?" He had already asked me again about my tattoo. We've already had these conversations before. I answered the only way I know how. It's not about the great feeling you get from helping people. I am called to love and to serve. I do it because I want to please God and I know that helping his creation makes him happy. This particular person doesn't believe in God and is sure that church would kick him out since he disagrees with everything in it -I want these babies, my friends and my co-workers to have their lives undeniably changed for the Kingdom of Christ. My goal has never been to just help people...that's just a humanitarian effort...my desire is that when I walk away people have a better picture of just how much God loves them regardless of their circumstances.

So we head out Tuesday. We will be gone Sept 14-25. You can keep up with us at www.ugandaonmyheart.wordpress.com and we are going to update as much as we can. We go out with confidence in the One who has brought us this far. Thank you for your prayers! I'll hug and kiss a baby for you!

Calling all mommies!

Most moms I know are great at finding a bargain or know the best prices around town. So I am asking for some of your knowledge...

Our team going to Uganda received this urgent plea today. If you know of any way you can help...please let me know! We don't care if it's formula being sent to our houses, donations to buy it or connections to the manufacturers.

Dear team….

At any given time we have several infants in our Baby Watoto homes who for one reason or other cannot tolerate a regular baby formula.

There are specialty formulas on the market that are designed for various medical issues, that we use in these cases. Unfortunately they cannot be purchased in Uganda and so we have to rely on donations from abroad and our current stock is out.

As this can make a life or death difference for a baby, we are appealing to you to help us with this urgent need. If your team has the space and means to bring even a few tins, it would help tremendously. If you have space, but would need us to fund the purchases, please let us know so we can work this out. The formula’s we need are:

Pregestamil – very hypoallergenic and quite expensive formula
Nutramigen or Alimentum – moderately hypoallergenic and moderately expensive formulas
Pediasure – A formula for over 1 year olds who can’t eat a regular food diet or have to be tube fed.

Thank you for all you do for Watoto!

Our teams momentum is building as we are just so excited to go and and I've been so blessed by how our relationships have flourished in the process of preparation. Thank you so much for being a part of it whether in prayer, money or buying T-shirts...little lives now can have big expectations. =)

Sometimes life stinks...literally

July 2010...a month I am glad to say goodbye to. A month full of defeats, frustrations, misunderstanding, stress and thanks to a local GI virus...crap (thankfully, I was unaffected, but the little kiddos at work...well, that's why they were there). Basically, a month I needed to go through in order to look more like my Father. A stretching, wearing, learning and surrendering time.

So thankful for August. A new month. A new beginning. A new opportunity.

So much to look forward too and reminders of all I have to be for which to be thankful.

TRUST in the LORD with ALL your HEART and LEAN not on your own understanding, but in ALL your ways, acknowledge HIM and HE will make your path straight.

Time for a sports metaphor..."It's all in the wrist"

So I finally did it. I got my tattoo. This action did not just come on a whim, but actually out of great consideration…and 4yr thought process. While I’ll never be able to fully explain why NOW was the perfect time to get it to the entire world (or the two people that read this thing), I’ll do my best to explain a part of scripture that has meant so much to me for so very long.
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' "
I remember hearing this growing up in Sunday School, youth group and mission conferences. I heard lots of things during those times, but this is a passage that stuck close and was always on my heart…along with the “peace that surpasses all understanding”. It’s who I was created to be. It’s been the anthem over my life for as long as I can remember. It’s why I am a nurse. I always knew I wanted to help people, and through nursing school (a beast all its own) all I could think about was how I was gaining such a practical skill that I would be able to take around the world. It was what got me through nursing school. It’s why I even do medical missions. I’m not changing the world…only Jesus can do that. In light of reality, I do very little for all the need that surrounds me…but I feel compelled to let others know the love of Christ. To care for them, to educate them, to help them, to give to them, to come along side them, to listen to them, to pray with them…not because it’s charity, not because the government has a program for everything so I can be hands off and lazy…NO..it’s because my Jesus loves them and cares for them. He wants to listen to them, guide them, to intercede for them. But how will they know? They will know Jesus by the love I show them.
I got it on my wrist for a reason. Numerous ones actually. It has to be covered at work and my watch is the perfect size. No one has to know it’s there, but it will be a constant reminder to me…always staring me in the face. Yet, if ever I am not wearing my watch, it’s facing out purposely so others can read it. The perfect opportunity for someone to read it and ask “what’s up with that”. The wrist is where cuffs are placed. If I am going to be a slave to anything in this world, it will be only to my Jesus and the life he has set before me. The wrist is where you literally FEEL someones pulse, their life…these words are my heartbeat. The wrist is a sensitive area. It’s where young mothers used to test the milk to see if it was too hot. It’s a pressure point. In some cultures, they lead you by the wrist to where you are going. You can’t extend your hand to help unless the wrist is involved.
On a funnier note…during a staff meeting we were talking about identifying factors that we’d use if ever there were a major disaster. Kelli…who affectionately calls me ‘Sister Laura’ and always asks to make sure I am praying for certain staff members, had been teasing me about my tattoo. I told her it was now my identifying factor and we had a good laugh. In all seriousness though, should anything ever happen to me where I had to be identified…there’s nothing I’d want more on my body than that to distinguish me from others.
Like I said, it’s a sensitive spot. It hurt. The three dots were fine, but when the artist made the “e” all I could think was “great. I have so many letters left to go.” More annoying than anything, but the only time I really did not appreciate the art was when he was on the word “least”. Ironic. That’s life…isn’t the “least” the hardest to deal with, the one that hurts the most, the one that makes you think if it’s worth it?
It is. Everytime I see what I am now branded with, I smile. My heart gets a little burst of joy. Not going to lie…work has been pretty terrible since I got the tattoo. I had a feeling it would happen. Staff moral is down, I got crapped on and had to change my scrubs, I saw more nasty snot come out a trached child’s nose then I ever care to see again, I’ve had to be sweet and understanding to parents laying me out with their words, saw a newborn infant with old healing fractures, sat next to a mom with my arm around her as the doctor told her that her very young child has a brain tumor. That’s the least. Those are the feelings, those are the smells, those are the sights. It’s made me all the more thankful for my Savior, and everything he has protected me from…and that he’s placed me here, in Atlanta, at my job, at my church and with a heart for the nations that will soon be going out to Africa in just a few months.
This is a time of my life that I never want to forget. I want to be able to look back at my times of singleness and be so glad I did something with it! I’m not going to sit around and waste time waiting for life to come find me. BORING! I make the most of every opportunity…

Food for the hungry
Water for the thirsty
Clothes for the naked
Worth for the widows
Mothers for the orphans
Jesus to the world



In other news...we (the women going to Watoto) are going to be selling t-shirts. Below is a picture of what it will look like. They are going to be $20 and all the money goes straight to the $1000 we each have to raise as project money for the babies. Let me know if you want one!!!

The video from Passion 2010

As I sat in Passion 2010, if I wasn't convinced I was going to go already...this sealed the deal. God is doing amazing things! God's story is HUGE! I'm not sitting on the sidelines waiting for it to happen, I'm not missing out!

http://vimeo.com/9832009

Sorry, I can't the link to work, so just do the 'ol copy and paste and you'll get there...and be ready to Praise God at the end of it!

Thank you to Africaprincess who gave me the link!